Adulting Is Boring-Glow Up Anyway🪴

Did you DECIDE it wasn't a good idea to go out on a Thursday “just because” knowing full well you have to get up for work the next morning? Yeah… me neither. 😅

It just happens, slowly at first ⏱️ and then all at once. Let's dive into the not-so-glamorous, but wildly necessary, process of growing into grown.

Now, let’s be real: growth sounds so peaceful on Instagram. All those quotes about “alignment,” “vibrations,” and “becoming your higher self” look cute on a sunset background 🌅, but in real life? Growth can be awkward, lonely, and at times, disrespectful. You start shedding old habits, old coping mechanisms, old relationships, and suddenly you’re standing there like, “Damn, was I the drama?” (Spoiler Alert: sometimes, yes.) 🫣

Goodbye Old Habits (and any Situationship That Should’ve Ended in 2019… even if it is family) 🚪

One sign of growth is realizing things you used to enjoy just don’t hit the same anymore. You’re no longer entertained by chaos. Gossip drains you. That “we just vibin’” situationship? Thank you, next.

You start craving peace, and let's be real for a moment, some people and patterns just don’t bring that energy to the room.

Let me be clear: situationships aren’t always romantic. Sometimes it’s that friend you’ve known since 2004 who only calls when they need something 📞. Could be the family member who thinks “we’re blood/family” is an excuse to cross every boundary imaginable. Sheeeiittt, it could even be your job where that higher up or random co-worker just gives you the ick 🤢.

Newsflash 🚨: toxic is toxic!

Letting go doesn’t always look like a clean break, though. Sometimes it’s you blocking someone and then unblocking them just to see if they texted (they didn’t 🙃). Sometimes it’s putting in just a bit more effort at work, because THIS time around you'll be recognized and rewarded; then deciding it's time to head on out

because guess what...you got another '3' on your review; basically, that's what they expected you to do. Growth is sneaky like that. Those are the moments that pivot your whole approach on moving forward.

The Audacity of Self-Awareness 🪞

Self-awareness is beautiful… and rude. Suddenly, you won't ignore your own patterns. You'll catch yourself getting ready to people-please, procrastinate, or second-guess, and you’re gonna be like, “Ugh, not me being the problem and the solution???” 😩

You begin to recognize that healing isn't linear. You’ll have days where you’re all aligned chakras and green juice 🧘🏾‍♀️, and others where you’re inhaling donuts🍩, cookies🍪, a burger and fries🍔🍟 hiding in your car. Who are you hiding from? Your kids, your boss, YOURSELF- doesn't matter, you're sitting there contemplating life and enjoyably regretting every bite and sip. But reality is, it’s fine -You’re fine, or at least you will be. Growth requires grace.

Revel in Peace 🕊️

There’s a weird stillness that comes with outgrowing things. When you’re no longer filling space just to avoid being alone, or chasing distractions to avoid your own reflection. At first it feels boring. But eventually, that quiet becomes sacred.

You find yourself choosing intentional friendships, laughing at your past self with love (and maybe a little secondhand embarrassment), and setting boundaries like the grown-ass adult you swore you’d never become. And yes, boundaries might cost you some people, but losing folks who benefitted from your lack of boundaries? That’s not a loss, that’s growth. 🌱

Being grown IS NOT the same as Adulting. In my opinion, adulting is about paying bills and choosing fiber over fries BORRIIINNNGGG 👎🏽 (though, let's be honest, both are important). Grown is about accountability, evolution, softness, and self-trust. It’s realizing that while change might hurt, staying the same would’ve hurt more.

So yeah, growth might mean crying over things you used to settle for. Missing that friend or family member you don't talk to anymore, or deciding it's time to leave the job you know doesn't deserve you, even though it's scary and the market is tough right now (umm, isn't it always?) It might even mean becoming that person who goes to bed at 9:30 and wakes up excited about candles and good credit. 🕯️💳 And you know what? That person is kind of a badass.

Ultimately, becoming the grown version of yourself is a process. Sometimes painful, often awkward, but always worth it. You'll look back and realize how foolish it was to think this or that, compared to how you would handle it now. You'll learn to laugh at your pain, and probably mourn what you think could have been, but remember that you wouldn't be who and where you are today without the detours that you took along the way. So celebrate who you are, AND who you're becoming, because there's no better option or approach.

Pretty sure, a therapist will say something like that too, but thanks for coming to my TEDtalk!