Being Grown Is Mostly Unlearning

Ever find yourself staring at your computer screen, phone or sitting in traffic, wondering if this grind is really your thing? Navigating adulting can feel like trying to find your way out of a corn maze blindfolded. Here’s the thing: growing up, growing wiser, and figuring out what really matters is a journey. So here's my take on some lessons learned as a grown woman that might help you find your footing.

Some of what I’ve Learned So Far

Let’s get real. Life doesn’t come with a manual, and the world in general is like a jungle gym with no safety net. Fun Fact: your worth isn’t tied to your earning potential, family status or political beliefs. Shocking, right? I used to think climbing the ladder was the only way to prove myself. Spoiler alert: IT's NOT!

Nugget of wisdom: Prioritize your mental health like it’s the most important part of your life -because it is. When I started setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and carving out time for myself, everything shifted. Suddenly, things felt less like a trap and more like a part of my life, instead of my whole life.

Speaking of boundaries, ever tried telling someone you need a break without feeling like you’re being lazy? Yeah, it’s tough. Pro tip: Fake it 'til you make it. Basically,white-lie your way to your own truth- “I’m taking a short break to recharge so I can bring my best to whatever this is”. I call it a white lie because you may not feel that confident in your moves, but you can use and probably need this time to level up

What Is A Grown Woman?

So, what does it even mean to be a grown woman? Is it about age? Experience? Or something deeper? For me, it’s about owning my story; the good, the bad, and the downright confusing. It’s about showing up for myself even when the world (or just my family) expects me to have it all figured out.

Being a grown woman means embracing imperfection. It means knowing that I don’t have to have all the answers, and that’s okay. It’s about learning from mistakes without beating myself up, because there will be mistakes- Lots of them.

It’s also about building a tribe; surrounding yourself with people who get you, who cheer you on, and who aren’t afraid to call you out when you need it. Because let’s face it, adulting is hard, and doing it alone is even harder.

Finding Your Fit

Now, let’s talk about that corporate maze I started with. It doesn't HAVE to be corporate, it can be any maze, really. Many of us walk into environments and major life moves expecting to thrive, only to find ourselves questioning if we belong. Here’s the thing: your value isn’t defined by fitting into a mold.

If you’re feeling stuck, try this:

1. Identify what drains you - Is it the culture? The work itself? The lack of flexibility?

2. Pinpoint what energizes you - Maybe it’s being creative, being in leadership, or establishing meaningful connections.

3. Seek out allies - Find mentors, colleagues or a solid group of friends who support your growth.

4. Set realistic goals - Not just for your career, but for your happiness and well-being.

   
   

Remember, it’s okay to pivot. Your path doesn’t have to be a straight line. Sometimes, the detours lead to the best views.

Embracing Self-Care Without Guilt

Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and face masks (though those are great too). It’s about setting up daily habits that nurture your mind, body, and soul. That means saying NO to a little extra work time, when you should have long logged off. It even means staying in when all your friends are out, because you just need some 'alone' time. Self-care is about recognizing your level of engagement and interest, or simply, energy, that you can or should be giving. That's entirely up to you, NOT work, friends, or family.

Unpopular opinion (for Boomers): self-care is a radical act of self-respect. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to handle life’s curveballs. Plus, it sends a message to everyone around you that your well-being matters. It doesn't mean you HATE everyone...(I mean, you could, and maybe sometimes do, but I digress).

Try these simple self-care hacks:

• Creative outlets: Write, paint, cook, heck, binge-watch old cartoons or shows for some heartwarming nostalgia.

• Morning rituals: Even 5 minutes of meditation or stretching can set a positive tone.

• Digital detox: Stop the scroll about an hour before bed. Allegedly, this helps you sleep. I think the truth behind that is you'll stop/slow the nightmares you'll relive in your dreams. We've got enough going on while we are awake.

• Movement: Find some type of exercise you'll stick with. Anyone interested in opening a GenX/Millennial ONLY club? Doors open at 6:30; no judgment if you want to be home by 10.

  
  

Building Confidence and Own Your Voice

Ever felt like your ideas get overlooked? Or that you have to work twice as hard at like, everything? Girl, I’ve been there. But here’s the truth: your voice matters. And owning it is one of the most empowering things you can do.

Start small:

• Speak up, even if you start with "This may be a stupid question but..." It's very likely someone else is thinking the same thing.

• Practice assertive communication - clear, respectful, and confident. No. Is a complete sentence.

• Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.

• Surround yourself with people who lift you up. (Oh look, we're back on that again)

  
  

Confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being authentic. When you show up as your true self, you attract the right opportunities and people.

Your Next Chapter Starts Now

So, what’s the takeaway here? Life as a grown woman is messy, beautiful, and full of lessons. It’s about carving out your own path, setting boundaries, and embracing your worth beyond what others tell you the plan should be.

If you’re feeling lost or questioning your fit, remember: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to have it all figured out today. Take it one step at a time, lean into your tribe, and keep showing up for yourself.

Because at the end of the day, the best life lessons come from living with intention and a little bit of sass.

Go ahead, write your own story - the world is waiting.