💬 If He Wanted To, He Would: The Work Edition

We’ve all heard the phrase “If he wanted to, he would.” (Ladies, am I right?) Usually, it’s about men in relationships who could text back, make an effort, or show up for you, but don’t. Well, here's the hard truth behind it: they could, they just don’t want to.

I took a step back recently and realized, 'Wait a hot damn minute!' That same energy goes ignored at work! Let's be real, the “if they wanted to, they would” mindset isn’t just about romantic gestures; it’s about recognition, too.

🏢 The Professional Version We Choose to Ignore

Picture it... (Sicily 1922, iykyk). You’ve gone above and beyond at work. You’re holding things together, training others, and being a core part of the team that everyone can rely on. You’re thinking, “This is my year. My contributions speak for themselves.” Then, the performance cycle ends, reviews roll in, and decisions are made… and crickets.

🦗 No raise. No promotion. Not even a genuine acknowledgment. 🦗

Meanwhile, you see people who arrived after you climbing the ladder, getting shiny titles, and receiving praise for work you quietly made possible. 🤯 It makes you question everything.

It’s so easy to internalize this and think:

• Maybe I’m not doing enough.

• Maybe I should speak up more, highlight myself more.

• Maybe if I’m more visible, they’ll finally see me.

  
  

But here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud:

💬 Sometimes, lack of growth has nothing to do with your ability, effort, or potential. It’s simply that the company—or the people running it—don’t *want to recognize you

Notice that keyword: want. Recognition is a choice. Promotions are a choice. Investing in your development is a choice.

💡 So What Do You Do When They Don’t?

Here are a few steps to take when you hit that wall:

1️⃣ Stop Over-Explaining Your Worth

If you’ve already been showing up, delivering, and outperforming, repeating yourself won’t suddenly make them value you. Document your wins, but stop begging for basic respect. You can’t force people to care.

2️⃣ Pay Attention to Patterns, Not Promises

Do promotions go to friends of leadership? Do new hires leapfrog tenure? Does everyone say “Your time is coming,” but it never actually does? Patterns > words. Every time.

3️⃣ Rebuild Your Confidence and Yourself Outside the Company

When your worth isn’t affirmed in-house, build external proof:

• Update your résumé and LinkedIn.

• Track your accomplishments.

• Attend workshops and networking events. Make it a point to connect with others in your industry/interests, NOT just your workplace.

  
  

Your value isn’t defined by JUST your boss.

4️⃣ Test the Market Quietly

Even if you’re not ready to leave, explore. Keep an eye on what opportunities are out there, talk to recruiters, and keep tabs on leaders in your industry OUTSIDE of where you work. Sometimes the interview feedback is enough to remind you that your skill set is very real.

5️⃣ Fine Tune Your "WIIFM Radar" (What's In It For Me)

Don't stay stuck on the paycheck; focus on the opportunity (or lack thereof). Every year you stay somewhere stagnant, you delay your earning potential and your growth. That’s not loyalty; that’s self-sacrifice disguised as patience.

💍 Waiting for the Ring… I mean, the Raise

As you start to evaluate where you are in your career versus where you want to be, it’s worth asking: Is waiting for the ring… I mean, recognition… really worth it? 💍💼

How long should you prove your loyalty to a system that keeps raising the ceiling? How long should you wait for someone to “see” your value?

💭 If they wanted to, they would, and if they don’t, you should.

🌟 Embracing Your Worth

Let’s talk about embracing your worth. It’s not just about waiting for someone else to recognize it. It’s about owning it yourself! Have you ever thought about how much you bring to the table? You’re not just another cog in the machine; you’re the oil that keeps it running smoothly.

The Power of Self-Recognition

Self-recognition is key. It’s about acknowledging your own achievements, no matter how small. Did you handle a tough project? Celebrate that! Did you mentor a colleague? Give yourself a pat on the back! When you start recognizing your own worth, it becomes easier for others to see it too.

Building Your Personal Brand

Have you considered building your personal brand? It’s not just for influencers and entrepreneurs. You can create a professional identity that showcases your skills and passions. Start sharing your insights on platforms like LinkedIn. Write articles, share your thoughts on industry trends, or even post about your daily work experiences. When you put yourself out there, you’re not just waiting for recognition; you’re actively seeking it.

Networking: Your Secret Weapon

Don’t underestimate the power of networking. Connect with people in your industry, attend events, and engage in conversations. You never know who might be looking for someone with your skills. Plus, networking can lead to new opportunities that you might not find on job boards.

✍🏽 Author’s Note

I wrote this as a reminder for anyone stuck in that in-between space, where you know you’re capable of more, but your environment refuses to see it. You shouldn’t have to keep proving your worth to the people who are already benefiting from it.

If this hits a little too close to home, you’re not imagining it — and you’re not alone. Your talent isn’t the problem; their lack of vision is.

So, what’s next for you? Are you ready to take charge of your career? Let’s start that conversation!